Osakan Bacon
by RanMouri82
Summary: Pointless sequel to Magic File 4: The Osaka Okonomiyaki Odyssey, but with moar bacon. Nominees are Luna Darkside, Yannami, and purebloodragdoll.


Title: Osakan Bacon

Author: RanMouri82

Word Count: 940

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Aoyama Gosho draws Conan. I eat bacon.

Characters: Edogawa Conan and Hattori Heiji

Notes: Pointless sequel to Magic File 4: The Osaka Okonomiyaki Odyssey, but with moar bacon.

(Okay, moar pork belly. Close enough!)

Thanks for the Beikan Bacon challenge, MsDreamer93! Needed help with this persistent nuisance called writer's block. I plan to toss my fave charity a few bucks in celebration.

Beikan Bacon is a challenge to write a fic within 24 hours with Conan/Shin'ichi eating bacon for breakfast. If not, donate $100 to charity. (OPTIONAL!) I nominate Luna Darkside, Yannami, and purebloodragdoll.

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><p><em>Osakan Bacon<em>

It was a bright, sunny morning in Osaka as the title implies and, according to a certain tanned, Osakan detective, a better morning could be had nowhere else in all of Japan. Because Osaka is just that awesome.

Conan fought the sunlight at first and planted his face into his guest futon to block it out. As he settled back into dreamland, his visions of slamming shut a semi-truck full of criminals and catching Ran as she swooned in his adult arms were cut short by-

"WAKE UP, KUDOU!"

He grunted. "Go away, Hattori."

"Your loss," Heiji said, shrugging. He was fully dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and his favorite baseball cap. "Thought ya wanted okonomiyaki, but guess not."

Conan bolted upright and put on his glasses. There was no way he would miss out on Osakan street food this time. "Give me five minutes."

While Conan grabbed his change of clothes and toothbrush and raced out of the room, Heiji faced an infinite subspace and grinned at you. "For folks not lucky enough ta know, okonomiyaki's great grub. Ya start with shredded cabbage, make a patty, cook it, an' top it with anythin' ya want. Around here, it usually gets sauce, mayo, an' bonito flakes on top of sliced pork belly. In America, that's uncured bacon."

Then Heiji's face zoomed in close. (Bask in his smoldering green eyes, ladies.) "Bacon. Sizzlin', Osakan bacon-"

"Hey, cut out the monologues, Hattori," Conan groaned, pulling on his jacket, the one with a K that's not for Kudou.

"Alright, alright, let's go," Heiji said.

Though the magic of segues, the teen tanteis stepped through an invisible portal that sweeped past Heiji's bedroom and dumped the boys in front of Joe's Okonomiyaki Shack. The squat, narrow building was made of warped, unpolished wood.

"They took their name literally," Conan said with a yawn.

"You want Osakan bacon or not?" Heiji snapped.

Conan was unfazed. "Pork belly."

"Whatever."

Stepping inside, their stomachs rumbling in the harmony of a train whistle, they eagerly marched up to the counter to order. Pans clanged in the restaurant's depths like the shack was a clown car or TARDIS. Heiji cupped his mouth and called, "Hey, anyone back there?"

"NOOOOOO!" Unearthly sobbing and wailing erupted, followed by the echo of footsteps racing up an unseen staircase. A grim faced man with broad shoulders popped up through the floor, his black, curly hair rumpled and tears pouring out of his squinting eyes in twin fountains.

Heiji stumbled, knocking Conan over. "Dad?!"

"This is terrible, son," Hattori Heizo bawled. "A thief stole a key ingredient. And now you know I operate a failing okonomiyaki stand!"

"Calm down, Superintendent Hattori," Conan said, planning to laugh at the loser later. "Did you find any clues yet? What did the thief take?"

Tears flowed down Heizo's manly cheekbones. "The bacon!"

Conan and Heiji glared back. "You mean pork belly."

Heizo shrugged. "Whatever."

After Heiji gave Conan a boost over the counter, the latter zoomed in on the crime scene with his glasses. "There's a thin but distinctive trail of grease."

"Ya know what that means," Heiji said, grinning.

"Right," Conan said. "We're going to bring home the bacon."

The universe groaned.

For the next hour, Heiji held Conan by his feet like a metal detector and chased dribbles of pork grease to and fro, past the Tsutenkaku, and around Osaka Castle. If that's physically impossible, ignore it. They did it, anyway.

Finally, the duo dragged three people into Joe's Okonomiyaki Shack: a tall, thin salaryman with a purple eyepatch, a stout woman with a poodle and too much makeup, and Hakuba Saguru.

"Why did you drag me here?" Saguru said, dusting off the shoulders of his Hawaiian shirt. "That's the last time I vacation in Osaka."

Heiji's skin erupted in a red glow of rage. "Gotta problem with Osaka?!"

"It's my fault for losing the bacon!" Heizo sobbed.

"Don't worry, it was a technicality. We have to start with extra suspects to make a case," Conan said, sticking his hands in his pockets. "And you're the main high school age detective in Magic Kaito." Turning toward the plump woman, who was in the middle of preening herself in a pocket mirror, Conan smirked. "Give up the bacon, KID."

Pouting and letting out a massive sigh, the woman reached into her beehive hairdo and pulled down a body-length zipper. KID cuddled the poodle and said, "That's all the dog would eat!"

"Next time, buy your own, an'-why'd ya get a poodle?" Heiji blinked.

KID blinked back and held up the yelping doggy. Its silvery, poofy fur glistened and its dainty eyes sparkled with the joy of bacon.

Waves of pink light and bubbles washed over the detectives. They sighed in unison. "Cute..."

Eyepatch Man surveyed the scene, backed away slowly, and mumbled, "Um, I'm gonna go."

Suddenly, their collective stomachs rumbled. Heiji and Conan groaned, rubbing their empty, baconless bellies. Conan asked, "Hattori, what are going to do now?"

"Oh, wait! I forgot!" Heizo shouted as rapturous sparkles surrounded him. He reached under the counter, opened a plastic compartment, and pressed an elevator button. "There's more pork belly on basement level 6C!"

Conan, Heiji, Saguru, KID, and the poodle pumped their fists in the air and shouted, "BACON!"

They ate okonomiyaki for a dinnertime breakfast, loaded high with a savory, yet sweet brown sauce, mayonnaise, plenty of bonito flakes, and all the grilled pork belly they wished. The scent wafted through the air, tickling the neighborhood noses and bringing more business to Joe's Okonomiyaki Shack than ever before. And bright, bacony peace settled in Osaka forever.


End file.
